We all have ups and downs in our relationships from time to time, it’s perfectly normal. But how do you know if those challenges are healthy or if there’s more going on that perhaps you might need to work on with your partner?
Find out by taking our relationship health check. Be as honest as you can, and your answers will help you understand your relationship better and what you can do to get it fit and healthy.
Simply write down A, B, C or D to each question, then add them up to find out whether you have mainly A’s, B’s, C’s or D’s, before clicking on “Get my results”.
Thinking about the ways that you and your partner enjoy each other’s company, which sentence best describes you?
A My partner and I share many common interests and regularly have fun together.
B My partner and I don’t share many interests but the ones we do share are very important to us.
C My partner and I lead quite independent lives and I wish that we could find more things to do together that both of us could enjoy.
D My partner and I have been drifting apart for some time and I feel little motivation to want to do more things together.
Thinking about intimacy in your relationship, (for example how often you talk about personal things, how affectionate you are and how close you feel) which sentence best describes you?
A I feel very close to my partner and would describe them as my best friend. We always find ways of keeping in touch and there’s nothing I wouldn’t or couldn’t talk to him/her about.
B Most of the time I feel close to my partner but we do sometimes get distracted by the stresses of everyday life and have to try hard to make time to talk and be affectionate.
C My partner and I don’t talk about personal or emotional things and tend to have a more practical relationship.
D I don’t feel very close to my partner and we rarely talk except about essentials.
Thinking about your sexual relationship with your partner, which of the following sentences best describes you?
A My partner and I have very similar attitudes towards sex and our sexual relationship is almost always fulfilling for both
B My partner and I occasionally fall out over sex because our needs are sometimes different but most of the time we both enjoy our sex life.
C My partner and I have different sexual attitudes and needs, and this often causes conflict or tension in our relationship.
D I don’t enjoy sex with my partner.
Thinking about the way you manage conflict in your relationship, which sentence best describes you?
A When my partner and I disagree on something we can quickly acknowledge our faults and focus on finding a compromise that will suit us both.
B When my partner and I disagree on something we can get angry and upset but after a while we’re able to make up and find a solution.
C When my partner and I disagree on something one or both of us usually gets very upset or angry. Sometimes we give up on trying to find a solution because we just end up arguing again.
D My partner and I don’t openly disagree about anything anymore – it’s just not worth it.
Thinking about your plans for the future, which sentence best describes you?
A My partner and I have lots of shared plans for the future that we’re both really looking forward to.
B My partner and I have some different plans for the future but we’re fully supportive of what each of us wants to do.
C Most of our plans for the future are the same but there are some areas where our plans conflict with each other and this worries me.
D My partner and I tend to live one day at a time and don’t talk about what we want in the future.
Thinking about the times during your relationship when you’ve found yourself facing life’s challenges which sentence best describes your relationship?
A Whenever my partner and I have faced a difficult challenge, we have supported each other and coped together.
B My partner and I have some different coping strategies when we face challenges, but we respect each other and still feel supported.
C Being confronted with challenging events in life puts a strain on our relationship but we manage to muddle through.
D When my partner and I have faced challenging times in our lives we tend to feel further apart rather than closer.
Thinking about the values that you and your partner hold, which sentence best describes you?
A My partner and I share the same values and they strengthen our couple relationship.
B My partner and I have a few different values but we respect each other’s opinion so our differences don’t matter.
C My partner and I share some values but there are some significant differences which occasionally cause problems.
D My partner and I have very different values in life and it is a frequent source of conflict and/or tension.